Be Where You Are

“Do not seek for events to happen as you wish, but wish for events to happen as they do happen.” — Epictetus

The Obstacle

Life is busy.
Life is full of responsibilities.

Work.
Chores.
Parenting.
Partnering.
Obligations.
Vacations.
Commitments.

Life is full of things we do and do not want to do.
Places we do and do not want to go.
Being with people we do and do not want to be with.

Life heaps on responsibilities.
Obligations.
Commitments.
They come in waves unceasing.

A never-ending onslaught of things to do that are not of our choosing.

It is difficult not to become frustrated or resentful at not having time for ourselves, or the things we want to do. It feels like our days, weeks, and years get shorter, that they are taken from us. It feels like there is never enough time.

We feel neglected.
We feel like we need an escape, or a vacation from our own lives.

It is hard to find calm, peace, presence, and happiness in the moment when so much is asked of us.
When we seem to have so little for ourselves.

The Gift and Opportunity

We do not get to choose what happens to us.
We do not get to choose how people treat us.
We do not get to choose the responsibilities that pile on, the obligations to our family or work. Who we are with, or when things must be done are often not of our choice.

What we do get to choose how we respond.

We are where we are in this moment, and there is nowhere else we can be. This should be obvious but our mind refuses.
We are doing what we are doing in this moment, and there is nothing else that can be done.
We are with who we are with, and we cannot change out the cast of characters.

Our choice is how we approach it.
Our choice is how we perceive it.
Our choice is how we act this out.

We bring only one thing to every circumstance, task, action, situation, and relationship… Ourselves. We do not get to choose what happens to us, but we do get to choose how we respond to it.

We can choose to be present in the moment, and sink into it with all we are and all we have. We can choose to engage fully in the task in front of us, without the added misery of wishing it were something else.

We can choose to enjoy the company we are with. We can bring curiosity and make the time worthwhile and interesting.

We can choose how we respond.
We can choose to be present.
We can choose to be curious.
We can choose to understand what needs to be done, and do it without misery or complaint.

We can choose to see what is important. When we give our full attention to what we are doing.

We can choose not to complain, to others or to ourselves.
We can choose to be where we are.

What is, is…
Find happiness and peace where you are.

The Practice of Self-Mastery

• Anticipate the frustration that comes with doing things, being with someone, or being somewhere not of your choosing, and accept it.

• Engage with empathy, curiosity, and leadership in how you show up with the people you are with.

• Dive fully into the task in front of you and release the misery, just perform.

• Do not complain, externally or internally. Be where you are.