Pushy

“Nothing is more offensive to people than being corrected.” — Seneca

The Obstacle

We’ve all had that human experience.
Someone has a problem.
We see the solution… Immediately.

It’s obvious to us.
Clear.
Clean.
They don’t listen.

They push back.

We’ve been on the other side of that same moment.
Someone brings us a good idea.
A useful solution.
We resist it.
Not because it’s wrong.
Because it isn’t ours.

There’s something in the human psyche that wants agency.
To feel in charge.
Included.
Like the idea came from us, or at least through us.

When we push our ideas on others, we often get pushed back.
Not because we’re wrong.
But because we’re pushing.

No one like being pushed.

The Gift and Opportunity

To them, the push isn’t really about the solution.
It’s about control.

When we push, we’re trying to manage the outcome.
Speed it up.
Make it cleaner.
Reduce uncertainty.

But pushing ignores readiness.
It assumes awareness, motivation, and capacity are already there.

Trade control for trust.
For timing.
Trust people will arrive when they’re ready.
Not when we are.

A good idea doesn’t need force.
It needs space.
The right moment.

Hold.
Restrain.
Waiting without withdrawing.
Staying available without pressing.

The Practice of Self-Mastery

• Catch the tension, urgency, or need to be right or solve

• Notice when you’re pushing for an idea to land

• Pause and create space instead of adding pressure

• Let others engage, explore, and arrive on their own

• Let them come to you

CHEAT CODE: NOTICE THE PUSH → CREATE SPACE → LET THEM COME → STAY AVAILABLE