Catching Judges
“If you are pained by external things it is not they that disturb you but your own judgment of them” — Marcus Aurelius
This writing is Certified Human
The Obstacle
We judge all day. It runs in the unconscious, dominating our thoughts, our attitudes, and our happiness.
We don’t realize that in every circumstance we enter, we judge how it could be better and take our happiness away as a result.
We set conditions that don’t allow us to fully enjoy where we are and who we’re with because things can always be better.
We judge others as they talk, act, and behave in the world. We unconsciously overlay our model of how we think they should behave and act with reality.
We live in a constant state of frustration that people do not behave as we think they should.
Our days are taken over by the subconscious judgment of people, self, and circumstances.
If we could catch the judges, we could live a more productive and happier life.
The Gift And Opportunity
We can look out for the judging.
We can know going into any circumstance that we will look for ways for it to be better.
We know we will do this with people, their thoughts, beliefs, and actions.
If we know it’s coming, we can catch it before it takes over.
We can decide not to judge or have an opinion about everything and everyone.
This will free up more resources to focus on our task at hand or the conversation.
Without the continuous judging, we will not be setting the conditions that are not possible in order to be happy.
What is, is.
When we can accept and be grateful for that, we’re able to point our energy, attention, efforts, and thoughts into where we are and what we’re doing.
By catching the judges, we can become happier.
The Practice Of Self-Mastery
• Notice the judging
• Catch it before it takes over
• Accept what is
• Point attention where we are
CHEAT CODE: NOTICE → CATCH THE JUDGES → ACCEPT WHAT IS → POINT ATTENTION WHERE WE ARE
The Why
This was 4th of July weekend.
We spent close to a week on the lake, and things started to get crazy towards the end.
Madness was everywhere.
People not behaving as they should. Boats flying in every direction. People intoxicated, belligerent, and unaware of how their actions impacted everyone around them.
I spent much of my day in disgust and frustration at how things were not the way I wanted them to be.
There are only a few holiday weekends a year on the lake, and I should have known better coming into it that it would be madness and that I should expect no different.
Once I was able to let that go and accept things for the way they are, I was able to relax, recalibrate my attitude and emotions, and plan activities that were appropriate for the madness that was unfolding.
I was able to better connect with the family we were with and in all the things that we were doing.
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