“Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?” — Marcus Aurelius
This writing is Certified Human
The Obstacle
We think of ourselves mainly.
We view most everything through our lens.
We put expectations, judgments, and opinions on others based on our own reality.
We bring our experiences into relationships without understanding what others might be going through.
We place our judgments and opinions on everything in our life, whether they’re needed or not.
It's difficult to perform when feeling frustrated, anxious, angry, or any other strong emotion.
It's difficult to maintain good relationships when constantly forecasting our own storms and assumptions over others.
The Gift and Opportunity
Most things in life don't need our judgment or opinions.
Most people in life don't need our judgment or opinion.
When we stop expecting others to do what we would do and start understanding what they might be going through, there is less friction. We can start to understand why they do what they do.
Instead of judging and getting emotional, we can take the time to understand what someone might be thinking or going through.
We can release our negative emotions and dive into curiosity, exploring different possibilities instead of being frustrated that it's not going exactly our way.
We can take the time to understand others.
The Practice of Self-Mastery
• Notice our judgment
• Get curious
• Understand their reality
• Put others first
CHEAT CODE: NOTICE → CURIOUS → UNDERSTAND → OTHERS
The Why
I live in my own head most of the day.
I make unconscious judgments and form opinions on most everything going on around me.
Conversations, emails, other people's behaviors.
This extends into all facets of my life: the people I work with, the projects I'm doing, the ones I love, the people on the road, and the media articles I see or read.
My constant opinions and judgments take away from what could be a positive exchange or a chance to learn.
When I remember that it's not about me and get curious about how others see it, almost everything in my life goes better and smoother.
And my relationships feel much more honest and fulfilling.
I'm trying to remember others before myself.
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