Give to Get

“Benefit and give benefit, for this is the bond of human society.” — Seneca

The Obstacle

For most people
Most days
Most of the time
Life is about getting.

We think about getting from the moment we wake
Get up
Get in the shower
Get coffee
Get breakfast
Get in the car
Get to work
Get going
Get a break
Get lunch
Get home
Get dinner
Get tickets to the movie

Get
Get
Get.

We think in terms of getting
Search to get more.

We set conditions on happiness
Based on what we get
We never get enough
What we don’t get from getting…
Happy.

A cycle that is
Never ending
Never fulfilling.

Get over it.

The Gift and Opportunity

So often in life
The opposite of what we think
Could be true
Is true.

Yes
It feels good to get
Temporarily.

It’s nice to have things
To get things
To get things done.

But what about the opposite?
Giving.

Giving does not place conditions
It does not need conditions to be met
For happiness.

We give because we want to
Because we love to.

Giving is for others
The act of giving gives the reward
A feeling
Not a thing.

When we give
We get in equal measure.

Giving makes us feel good
Giving provides a service to others
Giving makes us useful
Giving makes us part of something
For someone.

Giving is what we are here for
To create together.
Giving is generative
It connects us.

Giving provides us a path
To become better
To be better
To do better.

Instead of getting all day
Every day
Look for as many ways to give as possible
Be of service.

Giving does not need to cost anything
Give a compliment
Give kindness
Give your partner a cup of coffee
Give your child breakfast
Give your mother a call (seriously call her now)
Giving a neighbor a hand.

What do we GET in return?
Skills
Knowledge
Relationships
Love
Connection
Happiness.

Give to Get.

The Practice of Self-Mastery

• Notice when you’re focused on getting
  Stop and find the condition you have placed on happiness

• Shift attention from what you want to get
  To what can be given

• Look for ways to be of service today
  Small
  Immediate
  Human

• Give without keeping score
  No outcome attached

• Build days around contribution
  Not accumulation

CHEAT CODE: NOTICE THE GET → FLIP IT→ GIVE