Find the Way Back

“No thing is worth getting worked up about, except the state of your own character.” — Musonius Rufus

The Obstacle

We get frustrated.

I was feeling frustrated just a moment ago.

We become short with the ones we’re around, and those we love.
It’s not fair to them or to us.

Little things set us off.

When we feel overwhelmed minor irritants make us angry.

We balance on the edge, just waiting for that little push, the excuse to release the pressure.

This is not who our friends and family want to be around.

This is not the person we want to be.
Yet it feels good somehow, even though we know it is poison.

When our time is wasted, and things that should be easy aren’t, it becomes an easy excuse.

The mood takes up even more of our time, fueling more anger and frustration.

It removes any chance we had at performing our best.

This is not a place to stay.

The Gift and Opportunity

We feel the weight.
The pressure.
The tightening hand of frustration, irritation, and anger.

We can sense the fuse is shorter than it should be.
We wait for the spark.

We can see ourselves, almost from the outside, speaking and acting in a way that betrays who we are.

Since we can feel it.
See it.
Recognize it.
We can STOP IT!

We can create distance.
Whatever the cause, it can be left alone for a while.
Mos of the time it is not imperative or important.
It only feels that way.

With distance, the boiling water will settle and cool to a manageable temperature.

Ask, what’s needed now?
What opportunity is here?

We may need help.
We may need more knowledge or skills.
We may simply need distance.

Step back.
Get away.
Go for a walk or exercise — Get out of your Head and into your Body.

Push the frustration and the thoughts on the back burner.
Let it cool.

Leave it alone until you have what you need.

Help.
Knowledge.
Skills.
Resources.

Come back to it when it’s not so hot — when your not so hot.

The Practice of Self-Mastery

• Notice your state. Name the mood you’re in — Tell that name it’s time to go NOW.

• Take a deliberate break from the frustration - Step away, physically and mentally.

• Refuse engagement with the problem until the heat drops.

• With a clear mind, identify what is needed: help, skills, knowledge, resources, patience, or a smaller next action.

  CHEAT CODE:

  RECOGNIZE → STOP → CREATE DISTANCE → IDENTIFY WHAT’S NEEDED → ACT