Be Calm
“No great thing is created suddenly. Calm is created by practice.”
— Epictetus
The Obstacle
Much rages around us. There is always more to do, somewhere else to be, something pulling at our attention. We live in multiple planes at once — here and there, never fully in either. The world buzzes, beeps, clicks, and calls for us. While doing one task, we think about the others waiting behind it. When we’re with someone, our mind drifts to what we haven’t done, what we should be doing, where else we should be. We are haunted by the undone.
There is no stillness in these waters. Calm is impossible without focus, and focus feels impossible when everything is pulling at us. The storms will never stop. We must build our own safe harbor.
Stillness will not find us. The waves will crash. The wind will blow. The voices will call out endlessly. The common ways of finding calm — running, workouts, sauna, meditation — aren’t always available. You may not have the time, access, or desire.
But you do have your mind and with intention and practice, that is enough.
The Gift and Opportunity
Imagine the Jedi in battle against many opponents. Chaos all around, noise, screams, ships overhead, lasers… and yet they are calm, clear, and focused. We too can train our mind to stay with what we are doing right now. Distractions, thoughts of the future, the undone — none of them were invited, and we don’t have to let them stay. Calm can be found in whatever we’re doing, or whoever we’re with, if we choose to notice and focus.
It takes active practice to notice where your mind is and to clear out what doesn’t belong. Clean focus brings calm. Stillness can be found in almost any moment if your thoughts are unmuddied. Like a trained swordsman, you steady yourself, dismiss the noise, and focus on the one thing or one person in front of you. Clarity and calm will follow.
Life won’t slow down for you. Kids or no kids, the list is always long. There’s never “free time.” You may not get the perfect setting. So where do you find calm?
Right now.
In this moment and most any moment. The ship can be sinking and yet a good Captain remains calm, many lives depend on it. You are your own ship and your own Captain.
We may be restless — always moving, never present, always thinking about where else we should be. No matter how practiced we become, the thoughts will still come, but they don’t have to stay.
Calm comes from creating one-on-one meetings: one-on-one with the task, the moment, the person. A single focus. Intrusions aren’t allowed to linger. We can find calm in most moments — driving with the kids, talking with friend, working, living, doing, BEING.
The Practice of Self-Mastery
Notice intrusive thoughts immediately and dismiss what doesn’t belong - do this often.
Keep your full attention on the task or person in front of you - make it or them your most important one-on-one of the day - do this with all things.
Return to the present every time your mind drifts.
Make the task or conversation about understanding and curiosity, not responding.
