Letting Go
“The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook” — William James
This writing is Certified Human
The Obstacle
In life, we may have a tendency to try to control everything.
Our behavior. The behavior, thoughts, and actions of others. Circumstances, tasks, projects.
When we control too much, we become overextended, stressing ourselves out and leaving little room for what matters and the things we should actually be controlling.
It puts a strain on relationships because we start to resent others for not taking initiative, and they resent us for not letting them have control.
We find ourselves angry, frustrated, anxious, and resentful of the world and the life that we have created.
All because we are unable to let go.
The Gift And Opportunity
There are things that we are good at.
There are things that we should control.
If we don’t let control get out of control, we’ll be able to discern what needs our control and what we can let go of.
We will feel empowered to let others take the wheel, run the projects, and do the business without us needing to be involved in everything.
We won’t be constantly harping on others that they’re not doing it right, and they won’t feel like they’re not being given the agency to run their own lives and business.
This extends beyond the workplace and into our friends, family, and the little projects that we do around the home.
We can have more time and energy by knowing what to control and what to let go.
The Practice Of Self-Mastery
• Notice the need to control
• Discern what is ours
• Let others take the wheel
• Let go
CHEAT CODE: NOTICE → DISCERN → LET OTHERS TAKE THE WHEEL → LET GO
The Why
It’s in my nature to want to fix things, to want things to be done right, and to be done my way.
I used to want to control everything and would always have a critique or a different, better way to do it that was closer to my way.
I found myself anxious and restless, moving from one thing to the next because if I didn’t do it, it wouldn’t be done right.
I would constantly critique the people I loved, including my children, on how to do things better so that it would more closely match the way that I needed for it to be done.
I would say things like, just forget it, I’ll take care of it myself, or anything worth doing is worth doing right.
While I meant well, what they heard is they weren’t good enough, smart enough, or capable enough.
It ground down on my relationships, my energy, my performance, and my stress.
I try to keep close count of the things I need to control and the things I can just let go.
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