It's Okay
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” — Seneca
This writing is Certified Human
The Obstacle
We can get down on ourselves. We can be our own worst critic. We can be harder on ourselves than anyone would ever be on us.
We excuse these thoughts and behaviors in ourselves because we tell ourselves it’s just pushing us to be better. We talk to ourselves like we would never talk to a friend or a loved one.
When we berate ourselves, it doesn’t help our mood, happiness, wellness, or stress levels, and it does not help us perform any better.
The lessons that needed to be learned have already been recognized. Staying there does nothing to help us move forward.
The Gift and Opportunity
We can recognize when we screwed up. We can acknowledge when things could have gone better or when we could have done better. We can even imagine what we would do differently the next time.
We can work toward getting better, doing better, and being better. We can use positive thoughts and actions that move us in the right direction instead of keeping us anchored in our mistakes and failures.
It’s not fun to be around someone who’s negative. No one likes being around a victim or someone who is stuck moping and feeling sorry for themselves.
We can take this energy, recognize what needs to change, if anything, make a plan, and then start doing it or do it the next time.
The Practice of Self-Mastery
• Notice how we're talking to ourselves
• Listen for what is keeping us stuck
• Ask what needs to be learned or changed
• Let it go and move on
CHEAT CODE: NOTICE → LISTEN → ASK → MOVE
The Why
Listening to my own inner dialogue, I can hear how hard I can be on myself. Working with children, watching them and coaching them, it’s obvious how hard children can be on themselves.
From the outside looking in, it’s easy to see how a player who is negative or unable to move forward isn’t being a good teammate. They’re not fun to be around or play with, and they certainly aren’t helping their performance. And yet, they get stuck there.
The faster we’re able to recognize, accept, learn, and move on, the faster we’re able to get back in the game and back in the game of life.
It’s easy looking out. Not so easy looking in.
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