Leave It
“You always own the option of having no opinion.” — Marcus Aurelius
This writing is Certified Human
The Obstacle
We see the faults in others. We recognize their shortcomings and the different ways they could be doing things. It's difficult not to judge or have an opinion about how others aren't quite good enough.
We see them struggle with decisions and relationships, personally and professionally. We watch others control too much, avoid, perfect, not finish, and over-promise.
It's difficult not to have an opinion, want to help, or try to fix things when we see how others do things or the relationships they have.
The Gift and Opportunity
We can learn from our own mistakes and from others. We don't need to fix everything for everyone.
People don't want our help and don't want or need to be fixed.
What we can do instead is watch and learn what drives them. We can better navigate our relationships and conversations with them based on their own saboteurs, opinions, and individual personalities.
We can simply observe, learn, and leave it alone.
The Practice of Self-Mastery
• Notice the urge to judge or fix
• Observe what drives them
• Adjust how we relate
• Leave it
CHEAT CODE: NOTICE → OBSERVE → ADJUST → LEAVE IT
The Why
I watch others struggle and want to help. It's hard when you feel like you may have a key they could use to unlock a door that has been locked to them.
It's hard not to give advice.
Unless someone wants help and actively asks for advice or opinions, it's almost never well received, even when the intentions are the best.
In most cases, it's easier and better for the relationship for me to simply watch and observe what drives others instead of trying to help or fix.
I can see what drives them and then adjust my relationship, conversations, and actions accordingly.
When I do this, I find much more curiosity and peace in activities and relationships, and much less conflict because I don't have a desired outcome.
I can just leave it.
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