“I begin to speak only when I’m certain what I’ll say isn’t better left unsaid.” — Cato the Younger
This writing is Certified Human
The Obstacle
We always have something to say.
A comment, question, opinion, judgment, correction, accusation, interpretation.
We always seem to have something to add to what someone else is saying.
There is a need for us to voice our opinion, tell our story, correct something, or make sure our point gets added.
It can be hard to just listen and check ourselves before jumping in.
The Gift and Opportunity
We can listen.
We can wait a moment before deciding to reply or respond.
Before we say something, we can ask if it adds to or subtracts from the conversation or relationship.
Most things in life don't need us to add to them.
We don't always need to correct, be smarter, fix, or explain.
Sometimes we can just listen and leave it there.
The Practice of Self-Mastery
• Listen first
• Check what we're about to say
• Decide if it adds or subtracts
• Leave it when it's not needed
CHEAT CODE: LISTEN → CHECK → DECIDE → LEAVE
The Why
I find myself wanting to interject into most conversations.
I want to add my own story, correct something, clarify a point, or add my own interpretation to what someone else is saying.
Most of the time, I could probably just listen.
I don't always need to add my own thoughts to what someone else is saying or thinking.
Before I speak, I can ask myself if what I'm about to say actually helps the situation or relationship and whether it's needed.
I think I'm doing the right thing by helping other people, fixing things, or pointing out mistakes.
But am I really doing it for them, or am I doing it for me?
Before it comes out of my mouth, I can do a better job of checking it.
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