Avoidance of Understanding

“Nothing is so conducive to clear judgment as the ability to stop.” — Seneca

The Obstacle

The Avoider avoids
Any attempt at understanding
Ourselves
Others
Circumstances.

Understanding ourselves
Takes time
Patience
Tolerance
For frustration
Pain.

We have to stare down our Judge
Saboteurs
Emotions
Shortcomings.
This is not comfortable.

It feels easier to
Not be wrong
Defend
Deflect
Anger
Avoid…
Most do.
Each day
Conflict
Challenge.
Year after year
A lifetime passes.

We become
Grumpy
Stubborn
Stuck in our ways.

We will avoid understanding others
It’s uncomfortable.
It forces us
To challenge ourselves
Our notions
Ideas
Beliefs
Actions
Who we are
What we believe.

Avoiding promises a faster resolution
We jump straight to
Rational logic
Action.

We know humans don’t act that way.
We don’t respond until we feel heard
Understood 

In the shadows
We tell ourselves stories.
Stress builds.

In place of resolution
Is avoidance. 

The Gift and Opportunity

The Avoider casts a shadow
Exactly where we should be looking. 

We can flip this.

Instead of running
We can turn
Stand
Face
Engage.

Use the feeling of avoidance
As information
A signal
Showing us exactly where empathy
And understanding are required.

For others.
For ourselves.

Don’t avoid
Seeking to understand different
Thoughts
Ideas
Actions
We do not fully understand.

They may make us more whole
Give us skills
Concepts
Perspective.

Don’t flee
Stand
Understand.

The Practice of Self-Mastery

• Notice what you avoid 

• Stay

• Choose empathy before escape

• CHEAT CODE: NOTICE AVOIDANCE → STAY→ UNDERSTAND