What Do You See?

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” — Marcus Aurelius

The Obstacle

What do you see? — We see what we see.
We see what we want to see.
We see what we know.
We experience life through our unique filter.

We don’t see things as they are, we see them as they appear to us.

To others, the way we see things may seem foreign, alien, wrong, foolish, or even genius. To us, the way they see things can feel just as strange.

We cannot truly know what it is like to see the world as someone else sees it, because we are not them. We do not carry their experiences, their thoughts, or their life history shaping their perception.

Our point of view becomes an obstacle when it turns rigid and decisive.

When we want things done our way.
When we try to control the entire narrative and process.
When we stay stuck doing things the way we have always done them.
When we cannot see beyond our own narrow set of problems.
When we are unwilling or unable to pause, listen, and understand others.
When we are unable to take action because certainty has closed the door to curiosity.

Problems become harder to overcome.
Conflict becomes nearly impossible to resolve.

The Gift and Opportunity

Like two hunters working together in a primordial forest, we would want to subtly communicate to find out what the other is seeing and to gain a better picture. This would increase our odds of survival and of a successful hunt.

We assume much.
Assumption seldom serves.

If any assumption is used, it is better to assume that we do not know what we do not know.

Each opportunity to communicate with someone provides a chance to ask a simple question:
What do you see?

There are blind spots in our vision.
There are holes in our knowledge, skills, and understanding.
There is advantage in viewing from a different angle, a different perspective.

If we can let go of our ego.
If we are able to embrace the gift of more knowledge, then we can use the people around us to provide that knowledge by simply asking:
What do you see?
What am I missing?

This helps us better understand the problem.
It also helps us more fully understand the person.

Solving problems, building trust.
Saving time, energy, and stress.

As often as we can, we should pause and ask:
What do you see?
What am I missing?

Gain a fuller picture.

The Practice of Self-Mastery

• Pause before responding and ask, What do you see?

• Actively look for blind spots by asking, What am I missing? instead of defending a position

• Absorb another perspective fully, without correcting, fixing, or competing for whose view is better

• Use understanding to reduce friction, build trust, and move forward with a fuller picture

  CHEAT CODE:
  STOP → STEP OUTSIDE THE CONVERSATION → ASK “WHAT AM I MISSING” → RETURN