Not Buying It
“Peace begins when expectation ends” — Sri Chinmoy
This writing is Certified Human
The Obstacle
We have judgments and opinions about most things.
The people we encounter. The drivers on the road. Our friends, family, coworkers.
We have an opinion about the news and the people on it. World events. Politicians. Celebrities. All the decision makers, or people who influence our lives in some way or another.
We have judgments and opinions about the circumstances we’re in. The places we go. Events. Gatherings. Anywhere we are.
We tend to look for how things could be better. How people could be better.
We can spend a lot of time, energy, and attention focused on what’s not right, and how we might be happier or have a better time if things were different.
We think about the way people do things. Their attitude. Perceived intentions. Their actions. How we would do it differently. How it’s not perfect. How we can fix it for them.
Those are the judgments and opinions we’re selling to ourselves.
We don’t have to have them.
And we don’t have to buy them.
The Gift And Opportunity
What is, is.
Everywhere we go, things are the way they are.
We are not in control of most things.
We don’t control events, circumstances, or how things play out.
We don’t have to have an opinion about them or wish they were any different than how they were.
We could find what’s right. What’s good. The gift in where we are.
We can be curious. Find something interesting to explore. A different way of doing things.
Or simply be at peace with what is instead of wishing it were the way we wish it were.
We don’t have to control. Or judge. Or perfect the way people do things.
We don’t need to have an opinion about someone’s attitude, perceived intentions, or the way they are.
We can simply see it and see them for who they are.
And only concern ourselves with finding the good or the interesting in their differences.
The Practice Of Self-Mastery
• Notice the judgment
• Don’t buy the opinion
• Find what’s good
• Be where you are
CHEAT CODE: NOTICE → DON’T BUY IT → FIND THE GOOD → BE WHERE YOU ARE
The Why
I have lots of encounters with people most days.
If I’m not on guard, I find myself running scenarios in my head. Judging people for not being good enough. Capable enough. Fit enough. For not doing things the way that I would do them. Not doing things well enough.
My autopilot would have me continuously looking for how things could be different or better everywhere I go.
The food. The weather. Traffic. Sequence of events.
If I’m not practicing self-mastery, I will find myself wishing I were somewhere else, doing something else, with someone else. Or setting conditions for the way things should be or could be better in all manners.
This takes me away from where I am and who I’m with.
It keeps me from being happy and enjoying what is. From finding the good and the interesting where I am and who I’m with.
I have to check in often and remind myself what is, is.
And it’s my choice to be where I am and to find happiness with what I have and who I’m with.
Rather than wishing things were different.
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