Keep Looking
“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are” — Anaïs Nin attributed
This writing is Certified Human
The Obstacle
We jump right into action without considering the entire problem.
We start doing without asking what we’re missing.
We get frustrated with others for not doing things the way we would do them, or not doing them at all.
We put ourselves in a situation where we’re controlling too much and unable to handle the load.
Minor disagreements turn into conflict because we don’t take the time to understand what we might be missing.
Especially from someone else’s point of view.
We end up backtracking on actions we took because we didn’t take the time to see how others might have contributed or approached the problem.
It’s difficult to be as productive as we could be when we’re solving problems we never fully explored.
It’s hard to have good relationships when we’ve already jumped to conclusions based on assumptions.
The Gift And Opportunity
We’re human, and we’re not meant to do this alone.
We don’t need to jump right in, take action, and do everything ourselves.
We can take the time to get other people’s perspectives on how they might approach the problems we’re trying to solve.
In conflict, we can set aside our assumptions about someone’s thoughts or intentions, listen to what they have to say, and seek to understand.
We don’t need to constantly backtrack because of rushing, assumptions, the need to control, or the need for things to be done exactly our way.
We can slow down, keep looking, and see what we might be missing before jumping in.
The Practice Of Self-Mastery
• Slow down before taking action
• Ask, "What might I be missing?"
• Seek another perspective before making a decision
• Explore before you activate
CHEAT CODE: SLOW IS SMOOTH → EXPLORE BEFORE YOU ACT
The Why
There have already been many moments in my day-to-day life where it’s become clear that conflict is often the result of not taking the time to explore enough to make a good decision.
I see this in myself, my family, and the people I work with.
Often, we’re running narratives in our heads based on assumptions or predictions about how the future will play out, without having enough information to be accurate.
The amount of backtracking and relationship damage this creates could often be avoided if we were a little more patient and a little more curious.
If we took the time to keep looking, we’d often discover there is more to the story than we first believed.
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