In the Space Between

“No man is free who is not master of himself.” — Epictetus

The Obstacle

Life happens and autopilot responds.
Before we are able to slow our mind down enough to choose, we react.
Emotion rises. Impulse follows. Old patterns take over. Mistakes are made…

All of us react.
We all get frustrated.
We snap.
We get an attitude or a tone.

When stimulus dictates response, there is no growth.
There is only conditioning.

Over time, this makes us predictable.
It creates patterns.
It becomes us..

Reactive.
Easily pulled off center.

The obstacle is not the circumstance.
The obstacle is us missing the space between.

The Gift and Opportunity

We don’t get to choose what happens to us, but we do get to choose how we react.
In order to do this, we must work to recognize the space in between the stimulus and response.

That space is where learning and growth happen because we are choosing and reinforcing.
That space is where freedom lies, because we are choosing, not allowing a person or circumstance to make us do, feel, say, or act in ways that are not our choosing.

In the space between:
It is the moment when circumstance has not yet dictated our character.
When emotions have been felt, but not yet obeyed.
When impulse has not owned the outcome.

Where growth happens.
Where we get to slowly and painstakingly rewrite our automatics.
Where we dictate the outcome.

Every time we respond deliberately, especially under difficult circumstances, we reinforce control.
We choose our identity over our impulses.
We choose to control our emotions rather than allowing our emotions to control our behavior.
We become the boss of our body and mind.

Each time we use the in-between, we reclaim freedom.
Not freedom from events… freedom within them.

Discernment in practice.
Self-Mastery at it’s pinnacle.

The Practice of Self-Mastery

• Know the opportunity is coming… plan for the pause.

• Notice the surge, that is your signal.

• Ask, What’s needed now? What’s important?

• Stop being conditioned, stop obeying - be in command.

  We are going to need this space.
  Especially this holiday season.

  Find your freedom no in the circumstances, but in the space between.

• CHEAT CODE: STOP — BREATH — BREATH AGAIN — CHOOSE